So it's been almost 8 months since I wrote last....I've been on an incredible journey. Since I last wrote to you all, I started back to school and have since been accepted into the nursing program. I start my first week of nursing school next week actually! In five months I will be an RN and then my plan is to continue onto graduate school. 8 months ago, God asked me and my husband to step down from our positions in ministry. It was heartbreaking, we also ended up leaving our current church. I didn't understand the situation and I fell at my heavenly Father's feet and begged for understanding and peace. But instead all I got was quiet love and my favorite psalm flooded my heart.
Psalm 46..
1God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
2Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;
3Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah.
4There is a river, the streams whereof shall make glad the city of God, the holy place of the tabernacles of the most High.
5God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved: God shall help her, and that right early.
6The heathen raged, the kingdoms were moved: he uttered his voice, the earth melted.
7The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.
8Come, behold the works of the LORD, what desolations he hath made in the earth.
9He maketh wars to cease unto the end of the earth; he breaketh the bow, and cutteth the spear in sunder; he burneth the chariot in the fire.
10Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
11The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.
When I left my church family, there were hurt feelings. People who I had held so close to my heart had fallen away from me, turned their backs, and had even spoken against me. I felt like my whole world had been ripped away. I had no one to turn to in those moments. My husband felt betrayed. Satan used every minute of it to cut away at my heart in attempt to harden it. And I regret to inform that he succeeded for a while. But God did not fail me, He never left my side, even when I was angry over what had been allowed to transpire. His unfailing love softened my heart and brought me back to his feet. I had blame in this situation as well. Most of what I saw as betrayal had been miscommunication. People I had looked at badly, suddenly I remembered they were human and just as fallible as I was. I realized that God allowed certain things to transpire, because that time and season of my life was coming to a close. He was shutting a door and opening another. I'm sorry for anyone I might have been unkind to. It was not my intention. But just as the Bible says, we see life like a racehorse with blinders, all we can see if the challenge right in front of us, we don't see what lies beyond that challenge or the prize on the other side. I pray the best for my former church family. I pray that God fills my church family's hearts with joy, peace, and love and that His work continues to be done there. I have forgiven all and hope in my heart, that those who I might have hurt will forgive me also. I will pray for you all daily...
With love,
Whosoever
2Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;
3Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah.
4There is a river, the streams whereof shall make glad the city of God, the holy place of the tabernacles of the most High.
5God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved: God shall help her, and that right early.
6The heathen raged, the kingdoms were moved: he uttered his voice, the earth melted.
7The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.
8Come, behold the works of the LORD, what desolations he hath made in the earth.
9He maketh wars to cease unto the end of the earth; he breaketh the bow, and cutteth the spear in sunder; he burneth the chariot in the fire.
10Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
11The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.
When I left my church family, there were hurt feelings. People who I had held so close to my heart had fallen away from me, turned their backs, and had even spoken against me. I felt like my whole world had been ripped away. I had no one to turn to in those moments. My husband felt betrayed. Satan used every minute of it to cut away at my heart in attempt to harden it. And I regret to inform that he succeeded for a while. But God did not fail me, He never left my side, even when I was angry over what had been allowed to transpire. His unfailing love softened my heart and brought me back to his feet. I had blame in this situation as well. Most of what I saw as betrayal had been miscommunication. People I had looked at badly, suddenly I remembered they were human and just as fallible as I was. I realized that God allowed certain things to transpire, because that time and season of my life was coming to a close. He was shutting a door and opening another. I'm sorry for anyone I might have been unkind to. It was not my intention. But just as the Bible says, we see life like a racehorse with blinders, all we can see if the challenge right in front of us, we don't see what lies beyond that challenge or the prize on the other side. I pray the best for my former church family. I pray that God fills my church family's hearts with joy, peace, and love and that His work continues to be done there. I have forgiven all and hope in my heart, that those who I might have hurt will forgive me also. I will pray for you all daily...
With love,
Whosoever
