I feel like david...

    I don't know if you have ever read all of Psalms. But it was suggested to me by my former preacher when I found myself feeling as though I was in an endless pit. He told me of how David wrote Psalms and how you can tell by his writings that at times he felt so close to God and other times he felt a million miles away. I have found myself in the same way with You, Father. One minute I can feel you right beside me, the next I feel a million miles away. I hate that feeling...when you can feel the devil breathing down your neck. I hate feeling as though darkness is surrounding me, knowing that I'm vulnerable. I want to be in Your presence. It is there and only there that I feel strong, safe. David also hated this feeling...
¹ LORD, do not rebuke me in your anger
   or discipline me in your wrath.
² Have mercy on me, LORD, for I am faint;
   heal me, LORD, for my bones are in agony.
³ My soul is in deep anguish.
   How long, LORD, how long?
 ⁴ Turn, LORD, and deliver me;
   save me because of your unfailing love.
⁵ Among the dead no one proclaims your name.
   Who praises you from the grave?
 ⁶ I am worn out from my groaning.
   All night long I flood my bed with weeping
   and drench my couch with tears.
⁷ My eyes grow weak with sorrow;
   they fail because of all my foes.
 ⁸ Away from me, all you who do evil,
   for the LORD has heard my weeping.
⁹ The LORD has heard my cry for mercy;
   the LORD accepts my prayer.
¹⁰ All my enemies will be overwhelmed with shame and anguish;
   they will turn back and suddenly be put to shame.
~Psalm 6

Father I also find myself in David's position of asking You, "How long will I suffer?" I know that You never promised an easy road, but I need just a glimpse of You now. Father, I am growing faint fast and satan knows it! He's attacking from every angle! Father rebuke him! Father allow me to run into Your arms and rest there as a child running to their dad after a nightmare. Father, I need Your help. I'm begging... I don't know what to do... I don't know which way to turn...  I don't want the world's advice or to know what everyone else would do! I want Your answer! I want your will! Guard me Father. Restore me...